It’s not only adults who are affected when someone close to them has a life limiting illness; children feel the impact too. Through our bereavement and social work teams, we regularly support people in finding ways to help children understand and cope with dying, death and loss.

People often tell us they worry about finding the ‘right’ words when talking to children about someone they love dying, or about when and how these conversations should happen. Those concerns can feel overwhelming. It’s natural to feel unsure about how much to share with children, or how to explain what’s happening in a way that feels right for their age and understanding.

Children often feel grief before a death happens, and they can move in and out of their feelings quickly. This is sometimes called puddle jumping: they may feel sad for a moment, then ‘jump out’ to play or laugh, then dip back into their feelings again. This back and forth is normal and helps them cope.

At the Hospice, we offer books, activities and gentle guidance for any children affected by a patient’s illness, providing support at a pace that feels right for them. We can also connect people with other services that offer support for children and adults living with grief.

For some, shared remembrance can also help. Children are welcome at our activities and events, like Remembrance Ribbons or Moonlight Walk.

Here are three simple tips that may help when supporting a child through grief:

1. Be honest and clear. Use words like dying and death to help them understand. Phrases like ‘pass away’ or ‘leaving’ can make them think the person will come back.

2. Encourage questions. Choose a calm, unhurried moment. Be as open as you can. Include the person who is unwell in the conversation if possible.

3. Include them in age‑appropriate ways. Drawing a picture, sharing memories, or choosing flowers for the person who is unwell or who has died can help children express how they feel.

Watch our resource videos for carers with guidance on caring for yourself and supporting children through grief.